[FUN/MISC] Jokes v1.1 - Tells funny jokes [PEX] [1597]

Discussion in 'Inactive/Unsupported Plugins' started by sochio, Nov 7, 2011.

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    Version: v1.1

    Whenever you are mining or building a house, you tend to get very bored... Now there is a way to end all those dull moments! By typing the command /joke you can brighten up any boring moments! If you don't like the default 25 jokes you can edit them, and add more!! You can have as many jokes as you want! The command picks a random one and tells it to the player. Perfect donation rank perk! This is the only plugin active of it's kind. :)

    Bukkit Dev Page

    • You can add as many jokes as you want!
    • You can edit any jokes.
    • PEX, bPermissions and SuperPerms enabled!
    • Can turn permissions on and off.

    Permission Node:


    How to Install:

    1. Click the download link above
    2. Drag the .jar file into you plugins directory
    3. Reload the server
    4. Edit the config file to suit your needs
    5. Done! Let the lols begin!

    Default Jokes:
    Show Spoiler

    • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
    • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
    • You're never too old to learn something stupid.
    • I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
    • Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
    • My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
    • Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
    • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
    • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
    • Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
    • If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
    • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
    • Hallmark Card, I am so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here.
    • Whoever coined the phrase 'Quiet as a mouse' has never stepped on one.
    • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
    • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
    • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
    • War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
    • We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
    • The knee is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
    • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
    • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
    • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
    • Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
    • The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

    Version 1.2
    • Added bPermission support!
    • Update to RB #1597
    Version 1.1
    • Custom joke color
    • Announces joke when a player joins (Configurable)
    • 20 more default jokes
    Version 1.0
    • Released!
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    Sorry, but it's not that useful. :(
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    It depends on what you mean by useful. A use was defined as a way to end dull moments, and this plugin facilitated that use.

    On a side note, needs more jokes!
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    The First plugin is always the easiest it's a like the "hello world" of bukkit plugins.
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    @Orcem12 This isn't my first plugin, but the other ones are privately made for a server.
    @mahoutsukaii I will be adding more default jokes but you can add/edit jokes in the config. I am going to have about 50 default jokes eventually.

    I think this would be a great plugin to have just because it is super lightweight.
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    You could maybe do something where you type /joke and it gives you a question. In the chat, you have to answer that question. If you get it right it will say:
    If you get it wrong then it will say wrong, then the original answer.
    "Wrong! The correct answer was: .......... "
    Also, you can add iConomy support to my idea so if you get it right you earn $5.00 iConomy money.

    Just an idea that would make this plugin much better.
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    I could try to do that... Like some sort of riddle? I could definitely try! :)
  8. typo board should be bored :D
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    No, it's board. Sometimes don't you just feel like a piece of wood? :p (changed)
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    Deleted user

    Thank you for making my day :p.
    1. bPermissions support.
    2. Screenshots/Video(s) of what this plugin does.
    3. List of default jokes.
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    Latest rb please
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    This plugin is awesome, i downloaded it and tested it and it was really funny... nice one about the midgets but stuff like that might be offensive to people and you don't want them to report you for any case, just giving you a heads up. But awesome plugin really funny, i love it.
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    Nice i like it! Please can you make auto messagges through the console?
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    Sorry I have not been that responsive, I am on vacation. I will get to all these things at once! @tombik , what exactly do u mean?@crazydude1700 , you can change the jokes. Thanks for saying they are funny! :)

    Check all the new features!
    @ShootToMaim You will be happy :)

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